Two guys come into the store tonight. It's pretty early in the morning, and they've gotten up to carpool somewhere.
The first guy buys some stuff, and pays with a $20. I hand him his change, we chat a second and he heads out.
Then he comes back in, and calls to his friend. "Hey, you know I got a bag of fresh bologna and cheese, if you want to buy some bread we can make sandwiches." The second guy says "Let me check the price of bread." The first guy nods and heads back out to the truck.
Knowing the guy doesn't know where we keep bread I wander over and check the price for him. I let him know how much it is, and that I don't know how it compares to a grocery store.
He smiles and says, "He just bummed $20 off me, if he wants bread he can buy it."
He bought his stuff (no bread) and walked out. As they pulled out all I could think is mooching truly is an art.
Next shift is Sunday night.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
A Lifetime First
Never had this happen before.
I was working and a guy came in. He bought some miscellaneous stuff and then went over and was browsing our selection of condoms, saying something about getting with his girl.
After mulling that decision he comes over to the counter, pounds it with me, leans in and says, "Hey thanks man, you smoke weed?"
I literally laughed out loud and said, "No, I don't. Sorry."
He nods as if nothing happened, says something about coming back in some other time and heads out.
I was working and a guy came in. He bought some miscellaneous stuff and then went over and was browsing our selection of condoms, saying something about getting with his girl.
After mulling that decision he comes over to the counter, pounds it with me, leans in and says, "Hey thanks man, you smoke weed?"
I literally laughed out loud and said, "No, I don't. Sorry."
He nods as if nothing happened, says something about coming back in some other time and heads out.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
In the blink of an eye...
The story you're about to read is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Mostly because I don't know them.
Another night, another shift, another encounter worthy of a blog post.
Before we start the story, allow me to pre-text it by trying to describe a tone of dialogue.
Have you ever been at a party, and you saw someone you were excited to talk to? It's not like you haven't seen them in a long time, but you want to say something in a way that gets their attention, so you enunciate their name purposely wrong in what can best be described as an imitation of Pauly Shore. Does that make sense? "Yoo Ruusty, what is go-wing oon?" Can you read that with the dialogue type I am trying to describe, and if so is there an actual name for it? I'm going to call it the Pauly Shore, and you'll want to remember it for later in the story.
A girl walks into the store tonight. she had to be around my age, maybe younger. She is grungy, dirty, and flustered. She asks if she can use the store phone for a local call, which is no problem.
One of the previous customers on her way out knows this girl and asks her if everything is ok. The girl proceeds to blurt out "No I'm not ok, I'm doing horrible, I'm having the worst day of my life! I'm so tired of walking, are you going south by chance?" The friend smiled (odd) and said "no I'm sorry, I'm going the other way and I'm in a hurry. Good luck." She promptly leaves.
So here I am tending to some other customers. This frustrated young girl has dialed a few different numbers, but no one is picking up. She puts the phone down and stays put for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next. I still have people I am helping so I am unable to ask if I can be of any assistance.
Pretty sad story at this point right? Here comes the weird part that makes this post worthy.
A truck pulls into the parking lot and two guys get out of it, entering the store. In the blink of an eye, this girl's entire composure changes. She goes all Pauly Shore, and greets the guy in an upbeat, happy demeanor. "Yo Jeeffery, what is go-wing oon?" He says hi back, they chat for maybe 2 seconds and she smiles. Then she leaves the store. She walks away and I don't see her again the rest of the night.
Of course I am the only person in the store long enough to notice this two second total transformation. I'm left to ponder what just happened as I continue to help customers.
There were some other interesting encounters, but that one was the most post-worthy. I guess there's no end to what we will do sometimes to get people to notice us.
Next shift is Tuesday night.
Another night, another shift, another encounter worthy of a blog post.
Before we start the story, allow me to pre-text it by trying to describe a tone of dialogue.
Have you ever been at a party, and you saw someone you were excited to talk to? It's not like you haven't seen them in a long time, but you want to say something in a way that gets their attention, so you enunciate their name purposely wrong in what can best be described as an imitation of Pauly Shore. Does that make sense? "Yoo Ruusty, what is go-wing oon?" Can you read that with the dialogue type I am trying to describe, and if so is there an actual name for it? I'm going to call it the Pauly Shore, and you'll want to remember it for later in the story.
A girl walks into the store tonight. she had to be around my age, maybe younger. She is grungy, dirty, and flustered. She asks if she can use the store phone for a local call, which is no problem.
One of the previous customers on her way out knows this girl and asks her if everything is ok. The girl proceeds to blurt out "No I'm not ok, I'm doing horrible, I'm having the worst day of my life! I'm so tired of walking, are you going south by chance?" The friend smiled (odd) and said "no I'm sorry, I'm going the other way and I'm in a hurry. Good luck." She promptly leaves.
So here I am tending to some other customers. This frustrated young girl has dialed a few different numbers, but no one is picking up. She puts the phone down and stays put for a moment, trying to figure out what to do next. I still have people I am helping so I am unable to ask if I can be of any assistance.
Pretty sad story at this point right? Here comes the weird part that makes this post worthy.
A truck pulls into the parking lot and two guys get out of it, entering the store. In the blink of an eye, this girl's entire composure changes. She goes all Pauly Shore, and greets the guy in an upbeat, happy demeanor. "Yo Jeeffery, what is go-wing oon?" He says hi back, they chat for maybe 2 seconds and she smiles. Then she leaves the store. She walks away and I don't see her again the rest of the night.
Of course I am the only person in the store long enough to notice this two second total transformation. I'm left to ponder what just happened as I continue to help customers.
There were some other interesting encounters, but that one was the most post-worthy. I guess there's no end to what we will do sometimes to get people to notice us.
Next shift is Tuesday night.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Amish Invasion
I am wondering how many posts I will write with the pre-text "I am not making this up."
You might be better off assuming it's in front of every post.
Last night, I was invaded. A big white van slowly pulled into the parking lot of our store. It pulled around the outside borders of our parking lot and settled next to one of the store doors, nestled neatly in a parallel parking spot.
They promptly exited the vehicle and entered the store. There were at least 20 of them. All wearing long shirts, cotton pants and suspenders.
I didn't know if they were Mennonites or Amish, but I wasn't afraid to ask. They were Amish. Most of them were teenagers. They were headed home, coming from "stinking Indiana" as their driver put it.
Their driver really didn't appear to be Amish at all. Truth be told, he weirded me out a little. Not the type of person you'd expect to be driving Amish around, that's for sure.
They used the bathroom. Some of them bought snacks. One used a credit card.
I've met some weird people working nights. This was the first time that I've really encountered a large group of Amish youth, but I was more surprised at the other customers coming in, and how they didn't know how to react.
Think about it. We are so dependent on technology. This blog couldn't be possible without it. Most of what I do in my life wouldn't be possible without electricity, much less without modern technology. Yet this group of people choose to live without it. As I understand it the youth are allowed to go out and explore it when they come of age, and a fair number of them choose to go back to their simpler lives. It makes for some interesting thought and concepts.
Nevertheless, this certainly was the most post-worthy visit I got last night. The Amish Invasion of Speedway. I wonder how many of them were buying candy for the first time...
Next shift is tonight.
You might be better off assuming it's in front of every post.
Last night, I was invaded. A big white van slowly pulled into the parking lot of our store. It pulled around the outside borders of our parking lot and settled next to one of the store doors, nestled neatly in a parallel parking spot.
They promptly exited the vehicle and entered the store. There were at least 20 of them. All wearing long shirts, cotton pants and suspenders.
I didn't know if they were Mennonites or Amish, but I wasn't afraid to ask. They were Amish. Most of them were teenagers. They were headed home, coming from "stinking Indiana" as their driver put it.
Their driver really didn't appear to be Amish at all. Truth be told, he weirded me out a little. Not the type of person you'd expect to be driving Amish around, that's for sure.
They used the bathroom. Some of them bought snacks. One used a credit card.
I've met some weird people working nights. This was the first time that I've really encountered a large group of Amish youth, but I was more surprised at the other customers coming in, and how they didn't know how to react.
Think about it. We are so dependent on technology. This blog couldn't be possible without it. Most of what I do in my life wouldn't be possible without electricity, much less without modern technology. Yet this group of people choose to live without it. As I understand it the youth are allowed to go out and explore it when they come of age, and a fair number of them choose to go back to their simpler lives. It makes for some interesting thought and concepts.
Nevertheless, this certainly was the most post-worthy visit I got last night. The Amish Invasion of Speedway. I wonder how many of them were buying candy for the first time...
Next shift is tonight.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Best One Yet
This is BY FAR the best conversation I've ever had with a customer.
Customer: "I thought these chocolates were 39 cents."
Me: "They are."
Customer: "Well then why does the receipt say 78 cents?"
Me: "Well, you bought two."
Customer: "But I thought they were 39 cents."
Me: "They are, but you bought two. 39 plus 39 is 78."
Yes, this actually happened.
Customer: "I thought these chocolates were 39 cents."
Me: "They are."
Customer: "Well then why does the receipt say 78 cents?"
Me: "Well, you bought two."
Customer: "But I thought they were 39 cents."
Me: "They are, but you bought two. 39 plus 39 is 78."
Yes, this actually happened.
Unofficial Purpose Statement
It has been observed that I run into many unique situations. I currently work nights at a Speedway in DeWitt, Michigan. It's a pretty diverse area, containing all types of people.
Each night is the same, yet at the same time each night is defined by one event out of the ordinary. Sometimes that event involves a feuding couple. Sometimes it's just a Canadian returning to Toronto, stopping for some gas while looking for a Tim Horton's. Sometimes it's a tipsy waitress who seems to have forgotten her boyfriend is right next to her.
Each night stands out, and this blog is intended to chronicle those stories. I hope to post a new update at the end of every shift.
I don't plan on staying on nights at Speedway forever. Sooner or later I'm bound to take a different job. I hope to keep this blog intact when that happens, although I don't know what shape it will take in that event. One things for sure: Someone is always on the clock, and someone is always watching.
Welcome to Humanity on the Clock.
Each night is the same, yet at the same time each night is defined by one event out of the ordinary. Sometimes that event involves a feuding couple. Sometimes it's just a Canadian returning to Toronto, stopping for some gas while looking for a Tim Horton's. Sometimes it's a tipsy waitress who seems to have forgotten her boyfriend is right next to her.
Each night stands out, and this blog is intended to chronicle those stories. I hope to post a new update at the end of every shift.
I don't plan on staying on nights at Speedway forever. Sooner or later I'm bound to take a different job. I hope to keep this blog intact when that happens, although I don't know what shape it will take in that event. One things for sure: Someone is always on the clock, and someone is always watching.
Welcome to Humanity on the Clock.
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